Noisy Older Women: Denise - Don’t ‘Dear’ Me

Published on 24 July 2026

Growing up in the 50’s & 60’s, Denise was very much raised in the era of “Girls were to be seen and not heard. You listened, you certainly didn’t express strong opinions”.

At school she drew a cartoon of Sir Henry Bolte “I put him in the rubbish bin with the words Place Litter Here”. Her teacher saw it, her father was called to the school and she was heavily disciplined for simply expressing her political opinion.

As a High School student, Denise attended a university open day. A lecturer asked the audience what they wanted to become, Denise took to her feet and proudly said she wanted to be a psychiatrist, he laughed and said, “Don’t be ridiculous”.

She protested the Vietnam War too, but “I’d quietly put up posters about rallies and protests. I kept reading and learning, but I also learned to keep my opinions to myself. That’s what was expected of girls in those days”.

As if a lifetime of experiencing sexist attitudes isn’t challenging enough, as women age they then must confront ageist attitudes and treatment. Denise often endures being dismissed or patronised. Whether it’s being called “dear”, feeling pressured to apologise for moving slowly at the supermarket checkout, or sensing people only see her grey hair and reduced mobility, the message is often the same.

“I don’t think people are really seeing me. They’re seeing an older woman and making assumptions about who I am. They don’t see my life experience. They don’t see the responsibilities I carry or what I’ve done over the last seventy years”.

Through the Noisy Older Women (NOW) project she’s discovered something powerful: when older women gather, speak and truly listen to one another, they begin to reclaim the space they’ve so often been denied.

The project has created a safe place for women to share experiences that are so often carried alone. “Women just want to be heard,” she says. “Sometimes talking it through helps you find the answer.”

In a society where older women are too often silenced or rendered invisible, making space for their stories isn’t just empowering—it’s essential. Because when older women find their voices together, everyone has something to learn.

Help Denise spread the word through the Noisy Older Women art project.